Undercover Princess, Connie Glynn

34042261

When fairy tale obsessed Lottie Pumpkin starts at the infamous Rosewood Hall, she is not expecting to share a room with the Crown Princess of Maradova, Ellie Wolf. Due to a series of lies and coincidences, 14-year-old Lottie finds herself pretending to be the princess so that Ellie can live a more normal teenage life.

Lottie is thrust into the real world of royalty – a world filled with secrets, intrigue and betrayal. She must do everything she can to help Ellie keep her secret, but with school, the looming Maradovian ball and the mysterious new boy Jamie, she’ll soon discover that reality doesn’t always have the happily ever after you’d expect…

Warning: Spoiler alert.

So when I got the proof of this, I didn’t know it was written by a Youtuber. Which really, I shouldn’t judge a book on, but once again, this was another book by an online name that shouldn’t have really got a book deal. Or at least, should have been edited more than it was.

Honestly, thanks to the storm last night, I was up until 2am, so I thought I might as well read something. I read the whole book, then ended up writing bullet points on my phone of things I needed to remember for this – something I rarely do, thanks to having a brain that absorbs plots to the point I can recite passages of a lot of my favourite books. But for this, I wanted to make sure I remembered everything.

Heres the thing. I wanted to like this book. At points, there were sparks that showed this book had potential. It was good enough for me to actually read the whole thing – I’m ruthless when it comes to DNFing books. I have too many on my TBR to bother with books I hate. So there was enough to make it interesting. But then there was… the rest…

For starters, there were way too many unanswered questions at the end. Yeah, I know its start of a series, but every book in a series should have its own story arc within the main story. Yes, there should be questions that lead one story to the next but not as many that, when you finish the book, it doesn’t feel finished. You don’t think well maybe because I’ve got the proof I’m missing pages (yeah, the first thing I did upon going into work was checking a finished hardback on the shelf to see if the ending matched,)

So the girls get a riddle by one of their friends. Multiple riddles, really. One of which throws up the question of who the founder of their school really is. Theres like a whole damn chapter about them hunting down this picture to find this out, a conversation about ‘but who was he really’ and then its like… never mentioned again? Its only because I read the acknowledgements at the end I saw that apparently it’s going to be answered in the next book. But… maybe there should have been hints in this one and then the reveal in the next, because the way it was dealt with is just unsatisfying.

The same riddle friend also seems to know the truth about our two mains – who the real princess is. But again, its hinted at, she makes all this fun about it, and then its like its suddenly unimportant.

One of the characters was poisoned. He started telling the truth? Then fainted? Then didn’t remember anything about it? then…. IT WAS NEVER MENTIONED AGAIN. (are you getting the theme here) Like, Why did this happen? What was it for? I’m assuming the villain of the story was the one to poison him but WHY and WHAT WAS IT.

There were a few more things like this, but you get the hint.

There was no real worldbuilding to it. All I can tell you about the school is that its in Oxfordshire. I don’t even know where and I live in that shire. Like, there should be enough hints that someone living there her whole life should be able to point to which village it’s close to? Oh – and that the school has three houses (but again, why. What were they for, who were they named after SO MANY FREAKING QUESTIONS). There were a lot of buildings in the school but I couldn’t draw you a map of it if I tried.

Oh, and why was the school so important to get to as well?

Maradova – the place Ellie was princess of? Don’t even get me started like…. fuck knows.

Same with the characters. Like, not only did they all seem to only have one trait (the twins that ate sweets all the time. The main character who wanted to be a princess. The broody bodyguard. The rebel princess) they weren’t even described. Hell, it was only in the last quarter of the book when you got his backstory that we’re told that his mother was Pakistani. Like, there’s no descriptions of anything (except hair, like, once) anywhere. To build up a correct image in our heads of a character, we need to know things.

(also linked to that. None of the characters were seeming to act 14/15. Like… the girls were all relly affectionate. Cuddling and stroking each others hair and stuff and… it was not really in character for those ages?)

Like… This almost reads to me like a first draft. This is the ‘dump down on paper so you have an idea of story twists’ draft, but it should have been refined. The editor, or hell, friends that read it over for you, should have raised their hands and gone ‘ughhhhhh’ at so many points. If that had happened, if someone had gone through with a red pen and gone ‘what is this’ or ‘explain’ or something, it could have been so much better. Because it was meant to be a fairytale esque story, but it was clunky and painful at times.

despite all of this (and more, of which I can’t be bothered to write down, after 3 hours sleep and a day of work) it was a light fun read. And if you don’t mind being frustrated by unanswered questions, and you have a day where you’re bored and have nothing to do, or you have a 10 year old, princess obsessed kid you want to read to, it’s great.

… I mean, plus side, I honestly can’t tell who the love interest in the next book will end up being because all I got from the three mains is they all love each other so like, it could go either way…. as long as theres not an awkward love triangel, that is.

three stars

 

Advertisements

Geekerella, Ashley Poston

 30724132
Geek girl Elle Wittimer lives and breathes Starfield, the classic science-fiction series she grew up watching with her late father. So when she sees a cosplay contest for a new Starfield movie, she has to enter. The prize? An invitation to the ExcelsiCon Cosplay Ball and a meet-and-greet with the actor slated to play Federation Prince Carmindor in the reboot. With savings from her gig at the Magic Pumpkin food truck and her dad’s old costume, Elle’s determined to win – unless her stepsisters get there first.
Teen actor Darien Freeman used to live for cons – before he was famous. Now they’re nothing but autographs and awkward meet-and-greets. Playing Carmindor is all he has ever wanted, but Starfield fandom has written him off as just another dumb heartthrob. As ExcelsiCon draws near, Darien feels more and more like a fake – until he meets a girl who shows him otherwise. But when she disappears at midnight, will he ever be able to find her again?
Part-romance, part-love letter to nerd culture, and all totally adorbs, Geekerella is a fairy tale for anyone who believes in the magic of fandom.
I have two weaknesses in life (other than chocolate) and those things are fairytales, and ‘fandom’. I’m a geek for a lot of things – the above, Harry Potter, Star Trek, Star Wars, and many other books and films. So mixing both the geek culture and fairytales into one book – I was bound to pick it up in the end.
This has all the elements of Cinderella that we know and love (slightly more disneyfied than the original, but even I couldn’t see how one of the sisters would have cut off her own toes in this version) entwined with modern day life, making it an interesting and refreshing read – pretty much exactly what I wanted for my Christmas read.
The characters were brilliant- Ella herself will be relatable to so many that pick this book up; she barely has any friends in real life but lives a lot online – even the idea of randomly becoming friends with someone because they text you out of the blue is believable. A few of the people I count as my closest friends are people who I talked to online, or started geeking out about the fanfic I’ve written.
Her love of Starfield and its world is also one that will be understood; twenty years after the first Harry Potter book and it’s still going strong; with new fan theories and fanarts (writing, drawings and vlogs/musicals etc) springing up all the time. I’ve been to comicon for the last three years and it’s one of my favourite places I go every summer; for three days, you see other people and their costume design, you can cosplay as well and meet like minded people.
Her best friend Sage is also great. I’m pretty sure I want to befriend Sage (I mean who doesn’t want a friend who goes I CAN MAKE YOU THAT for a costume of a series they’ve never even watched?!) She speaks her mind, is caring and basically awesome – and I’m kinda glad that Poston made her into the ‘fairy godmother’ of the fairytale.
The only downsides to the fairytale part, I thought, were the rest of her family. I know, I know Cinders needs her evil stepmother and sisters, but they were a bit too… stereotypical, I feel, compared to the rest of the book (I mean, famous hot young actor part, also a romance stereotype but it’s different).  Like, one sister was the perfect evil bully with the quieter sister and the step mother was almost too much like the Disney version (make the breakfast, Ella, come home before 9, Ella, etc) It did make some of the scenes a bit too cheesy – but it didn’t counter how cute and fun the rest of the book was.
I love that it also followed Darien – Cinderella’s Prince Charming and the young actor taking the role of a much loved character. Everyone knows him just as the actor and from gossip sites – they all assume he’s in it for the money, rather than his own love for the show. All he wanted was to enjoy it and be himself, but he couldn’t be, not when so many people were watching him and not when his manager demanded all his time.
It tackled (gently) the whole ridiculous nothing of the ‘fake geek girls’ (yes, this happens, and my god it’s annoying) within fandom – how fandom and geek culture is not perfect.
Over all, this is a cute book and I recommend it if you’re looking for something lighthearted and fun.
 four stars

The Seafarer’s Kiss, Julia Ember

32890474
Having long-wondered what lives beyond the ice shelf, nineteen-year-old mermaid Ersel learns of the life she wants when she rescues and befriends Ragna, a shield-maiden stranded on the mermen’s glacier. But when Ersel’s childhood friend and suitor catches them together, he gives Ersel a choice: say goodbye to Ragna or face justice at the hands of the glacier’s brutal king.
Determined to forge a different fate, Ersel seeks help from Loki. But such deals are never as one expects, and the outcome sees her exiled from the only home and protection she’s known. To save herself from perishing in the barren, underwater wasteland and be reunited with the human she’s come to love, Ersel must try to outsmart the God of Lies.
So I am conflicted. I’ve been trying to work out what to say in this for hours now and I just… I’m so… I don’t know.
I got this because it was sold as a Little Mermaid retelling with a f/f romance in it. And yeah… I guess it is kinda that, but it’s also not one I would really want to recommend.
You know what I would have much preferred? A story just about the mermaids and how they were handling the stuff going down in their home. Because that was my favourite part of this story, and it was barely explained. There were a lot of throwaway comments within about how their king ruled in fear and they were looking at somewhere new to move to and it was never explained and I just wanted to know.
Whereas the so called romance? We saw her for like, 5 pages, then she left for most of the book, came back, there was some awkward make out/sex scenes (thankfully time skipped) and then they like punched each other AND THEN IT WAS NEVER MENTIONED AGAIN.
Like, dudes. My loves, my dears. Rule one of a healthy relationship is that you don’t hit each other. Punch each other. Whatever. Rule two is that if it happens, you get out there as quick as because if it happens once, it can happen again. I don’t care if the author trying to prove that both characters are as ‘monstrous’ as each other, you don’t fucking hit the girl you’re making out with (unless its consensual and there’s a safe word etc. Basically you don’t do it in anger.)
Like seriously one of the few f/f romances out there and it’s awful? Like, yay, we have a bi main but that doesn’t make up for it being bad rep.
They literally never talk about it (other to joke about one being able to punch better) and the ‘relationship’ then just carries on as if it’s all fine?  It’s so harmful and ughhh.
That’s all I can say on it otherwise i’ll just get even more sarcastic and annoyed, so lets move on.
As a Little Mermaid retelling, it was interesting. I loved that it twisted the story enough that you didn’t always know what was going to happen, and I love that it also mixed in Norse myths (because we always need a little Loki in our lives – even if in this  version, Loki is far more evil that prankster). The twists were great – and they showed a bit more of what the mermaid world was like, but still not enough (see what I’m getting at here, I really liked the mermaid parts and nothing else…)
Unfortunately, it wasn’t all good. Since mermaids are graded on ‘potential’ for their children, when one of the other mermaids has a low count, shes called ‘broken’. Pro tip, people; I know the point of this is that mermaids aren’t just baby making machines like they’re made out to be in this, but don’t call them broken if they can’t have kids, jesus Christ. Also don’t laugh if someone might not be able to have children but wants them. Don’t be a dick.
So all in all, yep, conflicted because I wanted to read about the world she lived in, and I think the story of that world would have been awesome – but it was all completely ruined by harmful rep and comments and everything.
two-stars

2017 in Books